I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to my blog to read about why I wish I attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all the reasons why this is so. Reading begins once you have finished this paragraph. I await your comments and appreciation by owl no later than upon completion.
Blogger and Potterhead
1. It appears to be free!
No one who has ever been to a post-secondary institute in Canada can under-appreciate the free ride that Hogwarts students seem to get. While I am nearing the end of my degree, I am faced with the gut-wrenching task of coming face-to-face with my nightmare: student loans. While the Weasleys were not financially well-off, they certainly didn’t have to worry about tuition. A few cauldrons, books, and owls cost pennies compared to what we students have to pay just to go to these classes. So how do they do it? I have yet to read about wizard taxes going to the upkeep of the school – the students just seem to go! I could be wrong though, I haven’t read a Daily Prophet in ages.
2. You only need to complete your OWLs and NEWTs to get a career!
Now after you’ve sold all your limbs and spare organs to pay for your degree, you are still not guaranteed a job in the real world. You actually need to pass your classes in both high school and post-secondary. Once you’ve added all this decoration to your resume the best you can do is cross your fingers and hope you get a job you enjoy and have the credentials for. Not Hogwarts students! They seem to have a pretty clear idea ahead of time of what they want to do and the positions come with exact requirements. While it may suck to have to take another year of Potions, at least you know it gets you one step closer to becoming the Auror you’ve always wanted to be. None of this wishy-washy, unclear credentials business you find here in the muggle world. PLUS they attend Hogwarts from the age of 11 to roughly 17. Consider in the fact they do not need a post-Hogwarts school, they have not only saved a lot of time but a ton of Galleons too.
3. Practical and Interesting Courses!
I don’t care how creepy (or awesome) Snape sounds and how much of a jerk he can be, if I was taught how to make something magical from throwing a bunch of ingredients into a pewter cauldron I’d so be down! Learning to transfigure things? Who doesn’t need to know that?! “I’m sorry honey, we’re out of spare goblets for the Yule Ball tonight.” “Oh no worries dear, we’ll just use the rat that’s been running around the garden.” So. Many. Problems. Solved. I on the other hand struggled through high school math only to never use it again. And people say Herbology is lame.
4. Location, Location, Location!
Look at the Hogwarts grounds! Seriously. Look at it:
How friggen cool is this place?! You’ve got not only the coolest-looking castle around, but a Quidditch pitch, a lake (complete with giant squid and merpeople), but also the Forbidden Forest. Think of the scholarly opportunities that the grounds alone provide: Meeting new species in the Forbidden Forest, learning about gillyweed in the lake, or the aerodynamics of broom-flying. This campus is ripe with resources just waiting to have primary research conducted upon it. There is also so much space to do things like read Hogwarts: A History, run from werewolves, chase unregistered Animagi, eavesdrop on Hagrid’s love-life. The possibilities are endless when your school is as bad-ass as Hogwarts.
5. The Castle Ghosts!
While Harry and his peers don’t describe having a ghost pass through you as the most comfortable sensation, it would still be pretty cool to befriend someone who lived in a different century as you. Think of all the information you could find out, all the Headless Hunts to watch, and Death Day parties to avoid. Ugh. I just wish my university had ghosts. Just maybe not the Bloody Baron. He seems little too intense for my liking.
6. Owl Post!
Everybody loves getting mail. Now add to that the excitement of getting your envelopes and packages dropped above your head from a great height! Not only will your hand-eye coordination improve (out of necessity) but having an owl buddy who brings you your stuff will make you feel that much more important. Heck, if letters regarding my student loans were dropped off in such a manner it might take away a few tears and soften the blow (probably not, student loans are comparable to Dementors).
7. Did I mention its a castle?!
I’ve always loved castles. Since I was young I’ve been fascinated by them. My dream come true would be to run around a castle with towers, spiraling staircases, and a mystery in every room. If I went to Hogwarts I would run around like a sugar-fuelled child, springing from room to room absorbing the history of the 1000 year-old building. I just hope I don’t open the door with Fluffy behind it. Or the Chamber of Secrets. Or Umbridge’s office. *shudders*
I don’t even have to make the house team, I would just be happy with an intramural Quidditch league. I wouldn’t even be upset with the fact that there doesn’t appear to be any other sports in the wizarding world other than this. It is simply a beauty of a game. On broomsticks.
9. School Spirit and House Rivalries!
Every year the Sorting Hat comes up with a new song about Hogwarts. This spirit is reflected in how far Hogwarts students will go to prove how awesome their school is (although it is pretty self-explanatory). Each student will also fight tooth and nail in a battle of “Which is the Best House?”. Every school year the houses compete for not only the Quidditch Cup but the House Cup. Students will duke it out all year to win although as long as Slytherin doesn’t win its all in good fun. Sorta. Not Really. If my house won I would join the rest of my house as we flashed our house-coloured ties in everyone else’s sorry faces. A little competition is great for a school and makes for rivalries that last a lifetime (I’m looking at you here, Harry and Malfoy).
10. The Food and Feasts!
Go all S.P.E.W. if you want but those house elves know how to put out a spread! Plates that magically refill themselves once empty? Its a student’s dream! And we’re not talking prison-food mush here – we’re talking about legit dinners with appetizers, various meats, and desserts. So much desserts. And on the Halloweens where no trolls find their way into the dungeons or on the Christmases that you couldn’t bare to go back to the Dursleys’ (all of them) you can just stay and feast under the unparalleled decor until you’ve had your fill of pumpkin juice and toddle off back to your dormitory. Or until Filch tells you to get a move on.
While this list is by no means exhaustive, I must return to my muggle homework. I do not have any enchanted quills that can write my report for me.
“Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home,” – J.K. Rowling